Where do I even begin? There is so much on my mind and in my heart to share. It is all so scary and vulnerable to share with the world. My hope is that if I can just help one other woman feel not so alone in her journey with healing her hormones, it will be all worth it.
Hormone imbalances, weight gain, PCOS, facial hair (hirsutism), low energy, brain fog, constantly craving high carb foods and sweet, even if I had just eaten.
These were just some of the things I have struggled with.
How it started
Back in 2016, I noticed a few things going on that I decided to take to my doctor (like chin hairs, you know, that fun stuff).
My cycles have always been normal, at that point I was actually smaller than I had been for quite some time (I have always lived in a larger body, nothing new to me).
My doctor immediately told me I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. She prescribed me birth control and sent me on my way.
Fast forward to 2018 after I gave birth to Selesa, I was given an IUD for my birth control because by golly I was not ready to get pregnant yet!
The following years after that, I knew that my health was starting to get out of control. I had gained so much weight throughout my pregnancy and put on even more during our 3 month NICU stay.
Since we are being vulnerable and transparent here, I weighed 240 when I got pregnant with Selesa, when I brought her home I was over 300 lbs, and now I am 344.
(Just a side note here, I do not care about the number on the scale for me or for anybody. That number isn’t a representation of who I am, it just is what it is.)
Not only that, my facial hair had gotten worse and I was just starting to feel crummy all the time.
Quite honestly, I think I have been struggling with brain fog and low energy since 2018, but since that happened everyday, I thought it was normal. (Spoiler alert, brain fog and being tired all day is not normal!)
Infertility and an inconsistent cycle
In June of 2020, we decided to start growing our family. I went ahead and removed my IUD and talk to my doctor about my PCOS. However, after getting an ultrasound done to see if I had any cysts on my ovaries, my doctor had left the practice and there was not continuity of care from the clinic.
I was left with unanswered questions, and I know I could have gone to see a different doctor but by that point, I had lost a lot of faith and trust in doctors. They seemed to only care about my weight, telling me “you just need to lose weight”, without giving me tools to actually help.
Since removing my IUD, my periods have been extremely irregular, getting only between 1-3 periods a year.
It’s been almost 3 years and Lance and I have still been unable to get pregnant.
Making changes and getting help
Throughout all the time, I have started learning about hormone health, following dietician’s and other girls who have PCOS and share advice and tips. I’ve slowly started making changes, switching out a lot of my beauty products that contain endocrine disruptors, and just trying to make better choices.
The biggest part that has always been so difficult for me is my diet, what I put into my body every day. I would always reach for the easy to grab, high carb snacky foods. They were simple, delicious, and I didn’t have to put any thought into making it. I would often find myself in drive-thru lines, getting a delicious burger or sandwich. Going to coffee shops to get a yummy drink.
I just knew it was time to get help. I was so scared. Scared they would tell me I have diabetes. Scared they would just tell me to lose weight. Scared that I was just more sick than I thought. Scared to make the changes they would tell me to make.
One day, I finally mustered up the courage to make an appointment. I found a functional health doctor who works with women and healing their hormones, and that has led me to where I am at now, wanting to share my journey with all of you!
If you are in this journey of healing your hormones, figuring out health problems, or just making any type of change to your life, I am here to cheer you on! Change is hard. Hormones are hard. Trying to get pregnant is hard.
Healing will come.
It will get better.